How Do I Change Your Diaper?
by Razuhfy
Summary: In the wake of the Kyuubi's destruction, how will a widower juggle the stress of being the leader of his village while simultaneously being the best father he can be? Now... If only he could find that damn baby powder!
1. I'm a Single Dad Now

**AN: You write alot of stories that never get finished, Razuhfy. Yeah yeah yeah yeahhhhhh... Leave me alone.**

**This**** was a concept I've always wanted to toy around with. I mean c'mon. Minato, arguably one of the strongest Shinobi to ever exist, struggling to do menial tasks like having to learn how to change Naruto's diapers and deal with the duties of being the leader of his Village while taking care of his child etc..**

**It's comedic gold lads.**

**Welcome**** to How Do I Change Your Diaper?**

**Enjoy! Or don't! Suck my 2 incher (:**

**Join the bloody damn Discord Server. Invite code is StPc5V**

Disclaimer : Eminem ft. Royce da 5'9 - You Gon' Learn

* * *

This had to be one of the worst days in the history of worst days.

Scratch that.

It _was_ the worst day in the history of worst days.

First he spilled his coffee on his precious haori cloak and then he had to delegate a dispute between several rival business owners in the village.

_Not fun, by the way__._

After settling the dispute he had to then listen to the Shinobi Council bicker to one another about where funds for the village should go.

_Not fun either._

Afterwards he had to make sure that Kushina was ready and prepped for the birthing process.

_Which didn't go according to plan AT ALL!_

To make a boring story short, a masked Uchiha member (claiming to be Madara Uchiha) appeared, took his son hostage, almost _killed_ his child, and then snagged Kushina and released the Kyuubi causing it to wreak havoc in the village.

_Not how he thought this day was going to go, at all..._

Minato's sapphire orbs traveled behind the robed Uchiha that stood in front of him and spotted the ginormous form of the Kyuubi slowly lumbering through the forested area he teleported it to.

The behemoth fox roared loudly before several dozen ethereal chains sprang into the air. The golden metallic chains proceeded to wrap themselves around the beasts' body, ensnaring it and slamming it into the ground harshly. The force from the maneuver caused a minor earthquake that spread out several miles in all directions.

The colossal fox struggled for several seconds before a Tsunami of water that rivaled the Hokage Mountain slammed down onto the beast. The Kyuubi roared loudly as the gigantic mass of water began to rotate, jostling the beast and keeping it from finding its footing.

Had the situation not been so dire then Minato would have certainly smiled at the scene.

His wife was _so_ badass!

"You shouldn't worry about your wife, Yondaime. She'll be dead soon anyway."

The Yondaime Hokage of Konoha directed his attention on the man for a brief moment before gripping his tri-pronged Kunai and twirling it in his off hand.

"My wife can handle herself just fine... _You're _the one that should be worried." Minato's eyes shone with indifference as he leaned his upper body forward while tapping his right foot on the ground.

The ground beneath the masked Uchiha lurched for a moment causing the man to direct his gaze to it. And it was all the distraction that was needed for the infamous blond man.

Minato's trademark kunai met nothing but distorted air as he appeared not but a foot in front of the unknown Shinobi, slashing diagonally through the masked Shinobi's head.

Before the Uchiha could retaliate with an attack of his own he was forced to once again use his intangibility as the ground beneath his feet exploded in a spectacular explosion.

An impressive shockwave shot through the empty field as soot and ash slowly fell from the sky from the explosion. A harsh breeze shot through the clearing, revealing the masked Shinobi to be completely fine. The same could not be said for the environment as it was nothing but charred remains of rock and dirt.

The hooded man slowly glanced around his surroundings taking in the devastation that the Yondaime had created with a simple exploding clone.

_"Hmph... He's far more creative than I originally assumed. Sensei hasn't lost his touch, I see..." _

His lone Sharingan slowly trailed around the clearing before he jumped up out of the crater he stood in. Upon making contact with the ground he was forced to once again, become intangible due to the hand that would have no doubt speared through his chest. In that hand was the Yondaime's infamous kunai and attached to that kunai was a unique looking explosive tag.

Before he could question the oddity of the tag his eyes clenched tightly as a ridiculously bright flash of light exploded directly in front of his face. On instinct, he made his entire body intangible and stood completely still until his eyes were fine.

Upon opening his eyes he noticed the sealing array that sat directly below his feet. He did not get to react or use his Mangekyou Sharingan ability due to the seal that was now slowly crawling up his body.

His eyes widened in genuine shock as the control that he had over the Kyuubi completely disappeared. That shock turned into pain as he felt an _incredibly_ powerful jutsu impact against his back. His face slammed directly into the rocky terrain below him as the Yondaime's Rasengan grinded against his unprotected back.

Minato's expression shifted ever so slightly before he rammed his hand further down into the man's back, marking his injured back with his Hiraishin. He proceeded to disappear in a yellow flash before reappearing in front of the robed man with his foot reared back.

Minato's sandaled foot made direct contact with the man's porcelain mask, shattering it into a thousand pieces and sending his body rocketing into the air.

The now mask-less Uchiha was airborne for all but a nanosecond before being sent to the ground by an _insanely_ monstrous strike to the gut. His back cratered the earth harshly and a volley of blood ejected from his mouth as the blond Kage appeared in another yellow flash with his foot striking against his sternum.

The earth beneath the Shinobi exploded in a brilliant display of rock and dirt as a hidden explosion hidden under the soil engulfed the two Shinobi.

Minato appeared in a yellow flash several meters away completely fine without a single scratch or scuff mark. His eyes were no longer their sapphire blue and instead resembled the eyes of the Toad Summons.

A black horizontal bar surrounded by a tan-ish, yellow pupil. Surrounding his eyes was a dark orange pigment that resembled a woman who had gone a little overboard on her eyeshadow.

_"Didn't really need to use Sage Mode but... Vindication is a good feeling."_ He idly thought with a hardened gaze. He narrowed his eyes before slowly making his way towards the man who claimed to be Madara Uchiha.

Which he didn't believe at all.

Madara Uchiha wouldn't hide his face like a coward. He was a _Warrior_... Born and bred in war. He _lived_ for the thrill of a worthy fight.

Madara Uchiha would just never wear a mask to hide his visage. It was beneath someone of his stature and power. If you believe yourself to be incredibly powerful then how you present yourself would reflect that.

No, no no no... This individual was an imposter.

A _weak_ one at that.

Taking his son as leverage against him only to attack his weakened wife...

Anger blossomed in Minato's heart as he reached the man and stood over his injured and dilapidated form. He took in the man's appearance and noticed the odd blemishes that made up his skin.

Wrinkled, white flesh greeted his eyes and Minato had to stop the frown that oh so badly wanted to form on his face.

This... _child_...

He bore a significant resemblance to one of his old students.

A student that was _dead_.

Obito Uchiha.

...

Minato said nothing as he stared directly at the teenager that was certainly Obito Uchiha. A thousand thoughts ran through his mind for an entire minute before he closed his eyes. He calmed his breathing before raising his hand into the air.

A small, blue orb began to form in the palm of his hand before spinning rapidly. The orb of pure chakra rotated at untraceable speeds before growing larger. It proceeded to grow larger than Minato's head and showed little signs of stopping.

Upon reaching the size of a small house, Minato finally let up on the oversized Rasengan. His unique eyes slowly trailed up towards the Jutsu for a moment before he shook his head.

"I don't know how you survived and quite frankly, I don't care anymore." He began quietly. "You held my son hostage, almost killing him in the process, attacked my wife while tearing the Kyuubi out of her and allowed it to run amok in _my _home..." His tone shifted darkly as his eyes grew cold.

"I will see you in hell, Obito."

The overpowered Rasengan descended upon Obito immediately after his words. The entire clearing exploded due to the ginormous amount of Chakra the Rasengan possessed. It destabilized a second after, engulfing the field in a spectacular explosion of blueish white chakra.

Minato walked out of the explosion with a hardened expression before shifting his gaze towards the restrained Kyuubi who was trying to form a Bijuudama.

He disappeared in a yellow flash shortly after.

**Break**

"STAY THE FUCK DOWN YOU OVERSIZED MUTT!"

Kushina's red tresses swayed erratically as she struggled to keep the gigantic beast from moving. Copious amounts of blood ejected from her mouth as the Bijuu managed to snap one of her many Kongo Fusas.

Kushina roared a battle cry that would have impressed Madara Uchiha himself as 10 more chains spring from her back, impaling the Kyuubi's tough hide and anchoring it to the earth. She proceeded to flex every muscle in her body as another gigantic tsunami of water slammed down onto the titanic fox.

The redheaded Uzumaki huffed several times as sweat freely flowed down her beautiful face. Dried blood stained her tarnished dress and a fresh batch of blood quickly joined the old stains, painting her in even more crimson.

_"Hurry the fuck up Minato! I can't... keep this shit up!"_ She mentally screamed as the giant beast thrashed wildly against its restraints.

Had she been at full health then holding down this stupid ass fox wouldn't be an issue!

But NOOOOOOOO!

Some _ASSHOLE_ had to steal her baby while ripping the Kyuubi out of her! If she got her hands on him he was DEAD!

Kushina screamed out in agony as several of her golden chains snapped abruptly. She fell to her knees in absolute pain as bleed freely dripped down her body. One of her eyes clenched shut in response to the pain.

_"Motherfucker! Fuckfuckfuck!"_ She groaned loudly as another searing wave of pain assaulted her body causing her to wrap her arms around her torso.

She could feel it.

She was getting weaker.

She was _dying_...

The pain of having her Bijuu forcefully ripped out of her was now beginning to take its toll. It didn't help that she was using ridiculous amounts of Chakra to keep the damn fox from going anywhere.

Yes yes yes...

She was going to die tonight. There was no doubt about that.

She'd be sad if it wasn't for the fact that she was trying to stay alive while preventing the Kyuubi from reaching Konoha.

Sometimes she fucking _hated_ being a good person!

"You're such an annoying piece of shit!" Kushina wobbly rose to her feet and glared directly at the giant Bijuu that returned the gesture with its own hateful gaze. "Fuck you too!"

The giant fox growled angrily before it snapped the chains that were wrapped around its snout, causing another wave of pain to shoot through Kushina's body.

The woman fell to the ground once more while vomiting a healthy amount of blood onto the ground beneath her. She slowly rose her head towards the beast and her eyes widened exponentially as she stared at the giant ball of condensed Chakra that was resting in front of the beasts' mouth.

Her mouth dropped in silence as she stared at what was the equivalent of a nuclear bomb.

Oh shit! Ohshitohshitohshit!

"MINATOOOOOO!"

The Kyuubi released the Bijuudama, aiming directly for Kushina's form.

Kushina closed her eyes as she waited on the cold hands of death to snag her soul. She sat completely still for a few moments before realizing that she wasn't... well, _dead_.

Her left eye slowly peeked open and a smile of relief appeared on her face as she stared at a familiar white haori with the Kanji "Fourth Hokage" written on it.

The Yondaime Hokage stood protectively in front of his wife with both of his hands held up. In the center of his cupped hands was one of his kunais. In front of the kunai was a massive Hiraishin formula that was currently engulfing the Bijuudama that the Kyuubi had released.

A few seconds passed by before the Bijuudama completely disappeared into the sealing formula. Minato sighed quietly as he teleported the atomic bomb away. Not a second later did the shockwave from the attack blast through the area almost sending Kushina flying due to her weakened state.

Minato's cloak flared wildly in the wind as he stared into the eyes of the Kyuubi. The beast seemed to almost sneer and reared its head back to repeat its failed attempt at getting rid of its former Jinchuuriki.

"We're pressed for time, Kushina..." Minato glanced behind his back and stared into the violet eyes of his wife. "We need to reseal it."

Kushina was silent for a moment before weakly nodding her head. She erupted into a harsh coughing fit before slowly standing to her feet with the aid of her husband.

"I-I... know. I'll prepare the array..." Kushina wiped the excess amount of blood that painted her body before running through several hand seals. She fell to one knee as she slammed her hand on the ground, causing a unique looking alter to appear atop of a bizarre looking array.

When she turned her head towards Minato, she noticed her newly born son sleeping peacefully in his arms. A weak smile formed on her face as Minato slowly kneeled beside her.

"H-he's... so cute." She rose one of her hands towards her baby and stroked his tiny cheeks with one of non-bloodied digits. "He'll definitely... be a l-lady killer... Hehe..." A weak grin tugged at her face after her statement.

One that caused no small amount of pain to form in Minato's chest. He could see clear as day that Kushina was not going to live for much longer.

She was alive off of sheer will power. No normal person could take this amount of damage to their body and survive.

The fact she was not only standing but _fighting_ after having her Bijuu extracted was incredulous.

Minato allowed Kushina to hold the baby, making sure that she wouldn't drop him due to her weakened state. He gingerly led her hands towards the small alter before resting him inside the unique looking crib.

After making sure that little Naruto was in his crib, Minato directed his gaze back onto the Kyuubi and his features harshened. He rubbed Kushina's back before slowly rising to his feet and glaring into the beasts' eyes.

"I'm going to weaken the Kyuubi even more." Minato stepped out of the array and began to slowly make his way towards the ensnared Bijuu that was still thrashing against its restraints. "I already know what you're going to do, Kushi-chan..."

Minato slowly turned his head towards Kushina and stared directly into her violet orbs. Unshed tears swam in his orange orbs as husband and wife met each others' gaze for what could be the last time.

"I love you... So, so much."

Tears freely fell down Kushina's face as she replied. "I love you too, you stupid... IDIOT!" She screamed with no venom, trying desperately to lighten the mood regardless of what was going to eventually happen.

It did its job as Minato cracked a tiny smile despite the single tear that fell down his cheek. He slowly turned back towards the Kyuubi before taking in a deep breath and steeling his self.

Minato's unique pupils bore into the Kyuubi as he slowly raised his hand in front of him. A Rasengan immediately formed on his hand and Minato slowly closed his eyes before channeling his elemental affinity and encircling it around the Jutsu.

_"I've only ever did this once... Please... PLEASE work!"_ He pleaded desperately.

Futon Chakra began to encompass his Rasengan causing an ear piercing shrieking noise to emit from the Jutsu. Several seconds passed by as the shrieking began to grow louder and louder. The Rasengan began to grow larger as a rotating blade of wind began to jut outwards from the Rasengan.

Minato breathed in deeply before channeling even more Chakra to the Futon infused Rasengan. The ear splitting shrieking only got louder as the Rasengan grew yet again in size, now being only slightly smaller than an average man.

Minato grit his teeth as he held the Jutsu in his hand. He could feel thousands upon thousands of microblades of wind trying to cut through his Sage infused hand. He reared his arm back before taking aim at the Kyuubi and glaring directly at the beasts' head.

**"Futon : Rasenshuriken!"**

Minato roared loudly before throwing the Jutsu directly at the Kyuubi. The Jutsu sliced through the air with ease and seemed to only get faster as it closed in on its honed target.

The Kyuubi could do nothing but watch as the Jutsu finally reached it's position. Upon making contact with the snout of the Kyuubi the Jutsu expanded almost five times its original size, now resembling a large home.

A dome of pure wind engulfed a large portion of the Kyuubi's face causing the beast to roar in actual pain as the millions upon millions of micro blades sliced into its face.

Minato grinned at his successful Jutsu before turning around to stare at Kushina. His grin immediately disappeared upon noticing her motionless form.

She was standing still with her hands clasped together staring directly at the Kyuubi. There was nothing behind her that he could see but he was positive that she was using the Shiki Fujin.

Blood freely dribbled down her face as an invisible tendril raced through the air, connecting to the Kyuubi's distracted form. Kushina closed her eyes as she felt the cold hand of the Shinigami reach through her back.

After a second of weightlessness the Shinigami tugged directly on the soul of the Kyuubi, gaining its attention. After realizing what was about to happen, the beast reared its hand-like appendage back to strike the woman down. It was distracted by an incredibly powerful gust of wind that slammed into the side of its face.

**"Futon : Atsugai!" **

Minato began to rush towards the beast, firing off several powerful wind Jutsus to stun the beast and prevent it from attacking Kushina. Each time it rose its hand, Minato would fire several Futon Jutsu at the appendage preventing it from moving.

Minato clapped his hands together as a tornado of wind exploded out from his body. The raging cyclone clashed with the gigantic Bijuu, knocking it back onto it's side and preventing it from even moving.

**"Senpo : Tatsumaki!****" **

Minato clapped his hands once more as the tornado exploded, causing a destructive shockwave to explode out from the Kyuubi's position.

The blond Kage continued his relentless assault until hearing Kushina's cry of agony. He was next to her near instantaneously with his palm resting against her back.

He couldn't see what was happening but understood that Kushina would need more strength to completely seal the Kyuubi away. His left hand snaked around her abdomen as green Chakra surrounded the appendage.

Kushina's sigh of relief was music to his ears and her stoney eyes...

Kami, he was going to miss her...

"I-I'm... not going out l-like a little b-bitch!" Her violet orbs were alight with fury as she grit her teeth. Her Chakra flared once more as the Kyuubi released a furious roar.

"GET! THE! FUCK! INNNNN! She screamed furiously.

In response to her renewed vigor and strength the Shinigami practically ripped the Kyuubi's soul out and causing the beast to physically disappear. The crimson Chakra of the beast was immediately sucked into the seal that rested on Naruto's naval, effectively sealing it away.

"Kushina!" Minato caught her body a second later and began to slowly lower his self to the ground with his left resting over her abdomen and his right hand propping her up.

"...m-y... b... b-baby..." She weakly called out. Her once bright and expressive amethyst orbs were now dull and lifeless.

It felt as if someone was driving a kunai through Minato's heart as he stared at his weak and dying wife. He mentally shook his head at the words he used to describe her.

Weak wasn't a word that _anyone_ in the Elemental Nations would use to describe Kushina. She was anything but weak.

But right here and now...

He shook those thoughts away before slowly reaching out to his son and gently picking him up from the sealing alter. He watched Kushina's eyes light up with renewed vigor once more as a painful smile formed on her bloody face.

This scene...

It was killing _him_...

To know that the woman he loved more than life itself was going to die...

And he could do _nothing_ about it!

_NOTHING!_

But he didn't show these thoughts on his face and just watched his dying wife gently caress their child.

She'd never see him grow up.

She'd never hear his voice.

She'd never see him take his first steps.

She'd never se-

"Y-ou... c-cry like a... a l-little girl... Minato-kun..."

Minato idly realized that tears were freely flowing down his face. His gaze strayed towards his son before returning to his wife's hazy eyes.

"You'll never see him grow up... And that hurts me the most." He explained sadly, not caring in the slightest over the fact he was crying.

Kushina's eyes began to slowly close with her breathing following suit. "N-no... I w-won't but..." Her eyes shut as she released a gentle exhale from her body.

Minato patiently waited for her to continue speaking.

Which would never happen again.

Kushina had taken her last breath, in the arms of her loving husband holding her beloved child.

Such beautiful misery...

It was the scene that Hiruzen Sarutobi, The Sandaime Hokage, and several dozen ANBU were greeted to when they finally reached their leaders location.

Their indomitable leader was just blankly staring at the face of his lover. Their child was sleeping soundly, not even fussed about the events that had led to this outcome.

Hiruzen closed his eyes and bowed his head low, allowing for a moment of silence to pass through for Kushina and all of those that had suffered due to this tragedy.

The Sandaime breathed in deeply before slowly making his way towards his successors position. Upon reaching the man and his now deceased wife, he bowed his head.

"I'm... sorry for your loss, Minato-kun."

The Yondaime did not immediately respond to his predecessor as he continued to stare at Kushina's face. Several moments of silence passed by before he finally spoke.

"I couldn't save Biwako..." A stray tear slid down his cheek despite the blank expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Hiruzen!" A pained expression formed on his face as he clenched his eyes tightly. "I couldn't protect Konoha!"

He was stopped from breaking down as a gentle hand rested atop his shoulder. His eyes opened and he came face to face with a crouching Hiruzen who sported a small smile.

"You did everything you could, Minato." The elderly man gripped Minato's shoulder firmly as he continued speaking. "You can only be successful for so long, child. One day, even winners have to lose."

Hiruzen patted Minato's shoulder and slowly rose to his full height. "No one in this village is going to blame you... You and Kushina _saved_ it Minato. Always remember that."

The Sandaime Hokage turned away from his successor before ordering the ANBU in the clearing to return to the village and aid anyone that needed it.

Minato stared at Hiruzen's back for a moment before returning his gaze to Kushina's face. He stared at her for several long seconds before steeling his features.

Never again.

_Ever__._

**Break**

"Civilian casualties are estimated anywhere from 3,500-7,500, Hokage-sama."

Minato's eyes slowly opened as he stared at one of his advisors. The man, a Nara, flipped through the papers on his clipboard before scratching his goatee and sighing quietly.

"Shinobi casualties are a fraction of that. Specifically, 746." Shikaku Nara shook his head before speaking once more. "All things considered, it could have been alot worse."

Minato stared at the Nara clan head for a moment before directing his attention to the paper that sat on his desk. It was more a less a synopsis of the damages, deaths, etc. that had occured only a few hours ago.

Most of it was only estimations and the like, so Minato would take what he could. So much work had to be done.

So, so much work...

The Yondaime rubbed his eyes tiredly as he remained silent for several minutes, trying to compartmentalize everything that happened tonight.

He just wanted to go home and be with his son and grieve for the death of his wife.

But he couldn't do that. He had to be the Hokage first and while he certainly didn't _like_ it, he had to get used to it.

2 years as the Hokage and a catastrophe had already struck Konoha.

He was doing a _fantastic_ job!

"Permission to speak freely, Hokage-sama?" Shikaku asked in a bored tone while placing the clipboard on Minato's desk. At Minato's simple hand gesture, he spoke bluntly.

"You look like _shit_, Minato. You need to go home and rest." Shikaku proceeded to cross his arms against his chest and stared into Minato's eyes. "You have more than a dozen _Shadow Clones_ flashing around the village trying to do damage control on top of having protected the village against the Kyuubi and some unknown attacker. You've done enough."

Minato sighed tiredly as he shook his head. "I need to be the leader first... If I show weakness then morale will dwindle." He stood up from his chair before walking towards the large window in his office. His sapphire orbs stared out into the destroyed village with a morose expression.

"I am going to call for Jiraiya's return and I will be bringing Tsunade back to provide aid for the wounded as well as creating her Medic Shinobi Program proposal that Hiruzen denied."

Shikaku was silent for a moment before sighing quietly. "We had medics on every single team during the 3rd Shinobi War."

Minato shook his head as he spotted several yellow flashes across the village. "It can be _better_ and that's why I'm bringing her back. Tsunade is the most brilliant Medic Nin thaty ever existed. Her knowledge on the human anatomy and the workings of the body are second to none."

Shikaku acquiesced to that one. Tsunade was _the best medic_ in the entirety of the Elemental Nations. Still, doesn't mean she'd willingly come back.

"And if she _doesn't_ come back?" Shikaku proposed with a raised eyebrow.

There was a silence that followed his question. A silence that honestly unnerved Shikaku.

Minato's head turned slightly, allowing Shikaku to see the _beast_ that lurked deep within the Yondaime.

Shikaku was no longer staring at Minato Namikaze. The kind-hearted man was no where to be seen and in his place was an entirely different individual.

He was speaking to the Yellow Flash of Konoha. The man that had killed several thousand enemy Shinobi in the blink of an eye, thus ending an _entire_ war. The man that had just fought the _strongest_ Bijuu in the Elemental Nations and the youngest Kage to ever take the position.

"Then I will _drag_ her back. She has no other options." Minato replied rather simply.

Shikaku resisted the urge to shudder as Minato's eyes seemed to stare into his very soul. Relief spread throughout his body as the man finally returned his gaze to the window to stare out into the village.

Shikaku forgot how _easy_ it was for Minato to flip the switch that all Shinobi possessed. Only his switch was far more threatening, oppressive and terrifying.

The man was the _ideal_ and _perfect _Shinobi. He had the innate ability to turn off his emotions, completely disregarding them in favor of doing what was necessary at any given moment. His moral compass ceased to exist when that flip switched.

Whether that be the massacre of over 2,500 Iwa Shinobi or making decisions that would affect generations to come. He'd do and _had_ done these things so many times before.

Minato wasn't _physically_ imposing but a single glance could change your entire perception. He was a man that terrified any and all Shinobi, regardless of skill, experience, and power.

The only man to ever have a flee on sight order...

Minato Namikaze was not a normal man.

The door to the office was opened as several prominent Shinobi of Konoha entered. They were all silent as they stood beside Shikaku, the man recognizing each individual as the leader of their respective clans.

The Hyuga, Uchiha, Yamanaka, Akimichi, Inuzuka, Aburame, Nara, Kurama, Sarutobi and Hatake. Even several of the elderly advisors during Hiruzen's reign were present in the office.

Minato was silent for several moments before turning around and staring at the gathered Shinobi. He ran through several hand seals before slamming his hand down on the ground, summoning a small toad.

"Minato-boy! I heard what happened! Is everything alright?!" Fukasaku frantically questioned the blond man.

Minato raised his hand, calming the elder toad. "Before I answer that, reverse summon Jiraiya. I don't care what he's doing right now."

The elderly toad blinked before nodding his head and doing as he was asked. He ran through the hand seals before slamming his webbed... hands? onto the floor. A large poof of smoke erupted followed by a masculine yelp of surprise.

Jiraiya appeared on the floor of the office with a shocked expression. In his hands was a bottle of sake and his signature notepad. He glanced around his surroundings for a moment and noticed how... somber the mood was.

"Uhh... What did I miss?" He slowly put the sake bottle away before turning towards Minato with a small frown. "Did something happ-"

He immediately stopped talking upon noticing the absolute destruction of the village. His eyes widened exponentially as he shifted his gaze to Minato.

"Kid! What the hell happened?!"

Minato was silent for a single moment before turning towards the window that Jiraiya was looking out of. He crossed his arms against his chest before speaking.

"The Kyuubi was released from Kushina." He turned his head to glance at every Shinobi in the room. "She is dead."

After taking a moment to let that news settle, he continued to speak. "A man claiming to be _Madara Uchiha_ attacked us. Only a _handful_ of individuals had knowledge of Kushina's pregnancy and how we would deal with it."

A fierce glare formed on his face as he continued to stare at the ruins of his village. "How this man acquired this information is irrelevant now. I've killed him and resealed the Kyuubi into my son."

An oppressive aura began to radiate off Minato as he spoke his next words slowly. "If this information is leaked, I will_ kill_ each person in this room - effective immediately. This. Is. Your. Only. Warning."

An uneasy feeling spread throughout the room, causing no small amount of nervousness and anxiety. Minato cared little for it. He was the leader of this village and it was time to start acting like it.

After getting his point across, Minato sighed heavily. "All of you are to focus your efforts on aiding this village. Anyone that is able to offer help will do so. Konoha and its people have suffered tonight and I have to make sure it heals, at whatever cost."

Minato turned back towards the Shinobi in the room before staring at his former Sensei. "Where is the last known location of Tsunade? You always keep tabs on her."

Jiraiya was quiet for a moment before responding quietly, still trying to wrap his head around everything that had happened. "Well... I've been In Amegakure for awhile but the last I heard was that she was traveling around the capitol of Fire Country."

Two shadow Clones popped into existence beside Minato before they disappeared in a yellow flash to search for Tsunade. The blond man nodded his head before waving his hand and speaking. "You're all dismissed with the exception of Jiraiya, Danzo, Fugaku and Hiruzen."

Everyone that wasn't mentioned bowed to their leader before making their way out of the office. Once the last person filed out of the room, Minato proceeded to take his seat at his desk. He placed his elbows on the mahogany desk before clasping his hands together and covering his mouth.

The four Shinobi he asked for stood at attention directly in front of his desk and remained silent, awaiting for their leaders words. Minato was not in the mood for games. He was in full 'Hokage mode' right now.

Minato's eyes focused on Fugaku before he addressed the man with a question. "Did you know that Obito Uchiha was still alive?"

A downward shift of the lips was Fugaku's initial response before he spoke. "He was confirmed KIA by Kakashi Hatake and Rin Nohara, your former students. You are saying he is still alive?" He asked in minor confusion.

"He's not alive anymore." Minato stated, alluding to the fact that this 'Madara Uchiha' had been nothing but a farce. "He possessed a Mangekyou Sharingan and was able to control the Kyuubi after extracting it from Kushina." Minato proceeded to close his eyes before asking a question that would decide Fugaku's fate.

"Where was your clan during the attack?"

The Uchiha clan head blinked at the question before his eyes roamed across the room to Danzo. "Danzo ordered our clan to protect the civilians... No doubt to cause paranoia amongst the Village trying to shift the blame of the attack on us. Everyone with eyes could see the Sharingan pattern in the Kyuubi's eyes..."

Fugaku wasn't going to hide his dislike for the man. Danzo was a piece of human garbage and he cared little what anyone else thought.

Minato's eyes left Fugaku and instead settled on Danzo. "Is this true?"

Danzo shifted his cane in his hand before answering simply. "Yes."

"Who gave you the authority to hand orders to Clan Leaders?" Minato fired back almost instantly.

The crippled war hawk was silent for a moment before answering Minato. "I believed it was in Konoha's best interest if the only known clan to control the Kyuubi was given the task of being non-combative."

Minato's stare harshened as he replied to the crippled war hawk. "You _believed _that it was in Konoha's best interest that the most versatile clan in Konoha was put on the sidelines?! Are you out of your _fucking_ mind?!" Minato slammed his right fist into his desk, shattering it and causing thousands of splinters to fly haphazardly around the room. "I should _kill_ you right now for your incompetence! You endangered far more lives with this _stupid_ display of paranoia! You have one more time to '_act with Konoha's best interests in mind'_ and I will kill you where you stand! Get out of my fucking office!" He yelled furiously.

The bandaged man immediately took his leave, not wishing to anger Minato more than he already was. If he was going to move like he used to then he'd need to be _far more_ subtle about it. Minato was an incredibly observant and calculating individual. One slip up and Danzo knew that he'd be killed.

Minato breathed in deeply as he tried to calm his anger. After several minutes, he turned back towards Fugaku before speaking. "I apologise on behalf of Danzo's _idiocy_... The Uchiha are an integral part of the village and those that throw disdain at your clan for its past are foolish. Reparations are to be made and _I _will personally see to it by expanding the Uchiha's territory. I will not make the same mistakes that Tobirama made. What the Uchiha need, they will get. What they want, I will try to provide, _within reason_."

Fugaku could not keep the surprised expression off of his face. He truly did not expect for Minato to do this but he certainly wasn't going to complain!

The Uchiha bowed to his leader as he spoke. "Thank you, Hokage-sama!"

"Yes yes yes... We will talk more about this in-depth at a later date. For now, use the Police Force to maintain order and aid in whatever way possible. I leave judgement to your discretion, Fugaku."

The Uchiha once again bowed to his leader before exiting the office with a noticeable pep to his step. It was an amusing sight considering the man was usually always in control of emotions.

"Why are you in Amegakure? Did you find those kids that you once trained?" Minato glanced towards Jiraiya as he questioned the man.

The Toad Sage sighed quietly before crossing his arms against his chest. "I've been searching but... No luck. It's been a few months and I think I'm going to call it quits."

Minato nodded his head before glancing towards Hiruzen who had remained silent the entire time. "Any advice?"

Hiruzen offered the man a smile before replying. "You seem to have the situation handled." He jibed good naturedly.

A small smile cracked on the blond man's face as he leaned back into his chair while staring at the ceiling. The smile slowly disappeared though as the thoughts from today's events resurfaced.

"Kid... You gonna be ok?"

Minato's eyes trailed down towards Jiraiya and Hiruzen who were looking at him with genuine concern. A conflicted expression formed on his face before he spoke.

"I... will eventually be." He answered truthfully.

"Where is the kid anyway?" Jiraiya asked curiously.

The Yondaime sighed while rubbing his eyes. "I have Kakashi watching over him with a few clones watching over _him_ and I have several barriers surrounding the location."

To say that Minato was a paranoid individual was an understatement. Afterall, his wife had just died despite all of the precautions they had made and while he doubted a similar attack would happen _again_ he wasn't going to take that chance.

"You should get some rest, kid. You look like shit." Jiraiya proposed rather bluntly.

Minato rolled his eyes with a sigh before turning to gaze out the window. "Shikaku said the same thing..." He turned his head towards his mentors with a small frown before speaking. "Do I really look like shit?"

The two men did not hesitate to nod at the question and caused no small amount of annoyance to Minato.

Traitors...

"Fine! Fine, fine fine. I'll go home and rest..." Minato released a sigh that quickly tapered off into a yawn. His eyes began to grow heavy and did he only now finally understand how tired he _actually_ was. Today had truly tried his mental fortitude.

The man turned towards his mentor before budding them goodnight and disappearing in a yellow flash. Upon leaving the two older Shinobi glanced at one another.

"You think he'll get through this?" Jiraiya asked curiously.

Hiruzen sighed quietly before shaking his head and replying quietly. "He has no other option Jiraiya."

**Break**

"Are you sure that you don't need me to stay Sensei?"

Minato glanced at his only remaining student from his time as a teacher before smiling. "Yes, Kakashi. If I need you I'll call for you." He proceeded to ruffle the masked boy's hair. Kakashi's face scrunched up in annoyance as he swatted the man's hand away from his head.

Minato proceeded to teleport the boy out of his home before glancing around his home.

Peace and quiet.

...it wasn't normal.

Kushina would usually be yelling about _something_ mundane at this time.

Sorrow began to burrow its way into his heart as his eyes grew misty. Before the years could fall the distinct sound of a baby crying was heard.

Minato was by his son's crib instantly and stood over him with furrowed eyebrows. He was confused for all but a second before a disgusting stench entered his nostrils.

Well... It seemed he needed to change to Naruto.

Right.

Okay.

Uhh...

Minato stared at Naruto with an unsure expression for several long moments before grimacing lightly and speaking aloud to himself.

"How do I change your diaper?"

**AN: Got his ass. Naruto has a stinky and Minato doesn't know what to do.**

**Anyway that's the chapter!**

**Since people are going to say stupid shit like _"You made Minato out to be some ridiculously OP character on the level of people like Hashirama and Madara."_**

**Well, yeah... Because he _is_ on that level. Minato is a fucking _BEAST_. The fact people disrespect this character so much fucking baffles me.**

**Minato**** _waxes_ 99% of the entire Elemental Nations with his fucking eyes closed. If you think that statement is wrong, you're fucking braindead and your opinion is irrelevant.**

**ANYWAY**** (x2)! Review, Favorite and Follow! suck my weewee**


	2. A Snake's Paradise

**AN: Sup. Here's an update.**

**Join the bloody damn Discord Server. Invite code is StPc5V**

Disclaimer : Bad Bunny ft. Daddy Yankee - La Santa

* * *

_"You look so dumb in that hat."_

_Minato's sapphire eyes traveled towards Kushina who was sitting on the window sill of his new office. A small smile formed on his face as he fished out one of his Hiraishin Kunais._

_"I don't know, Kushi-chan..." He replied as he gazed at his reflection from his weapon. "I think it fits me pretty well."_

_An obnoxious snort from the red haired woman the response he was given._

_Minato__ just smiled though as he gazed at his wife who was now staring out into the village, admiring how the sun bounced off her and how beautiful she looked._

_"__The__ hell are you staring at?!"_

_Minato blinked at Kushina's rather aggressive question before his smile grew larger._

_"You..." He replied quietly. "You're so beautiful."_

_Satisfaction blossomed in Minato's chest at the way Kushina began to handle his compliment. Her eyes immediately averted from his and a small hue of crimson formed on her face._

_"S-Shut__ up... Idiot!"_

_Minato slowly rose from his seat as he made his way towards his wife. Upon reaching her, he placed his left hand on her cheek before slowly guiding her gaze towards himself._

_Violet met sapphire as both husband and wife stared into one another's eyes._

_"I love you, Kushina." Minato expressed sincerely._

_Though embarrassment channeled deep within her core Kushina replied, albeit rather quietly._

_"I love you too... Minato-kun."_

_The 4th Hokage's eyes crinkled from the smile now adorning his face as he leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met in a rather delicate manner as Kushina's hands grasped her lover's Haori._

_The crimson haired woman pulled away first and a large grin formed on her face._

_"Let's have some babies~!"_

_Before Minato could truly comprehend his wife's statement he was pounced on by said woman who didn't bother waiting for a response._

Minato slowly opened his eyes and was greeted to the familiar ceiling of his master bedroom.

A... dream.

The blond man did not move, choosing to stay put in his bed. It was quiet in the room, somber even. Minato didn't really care either way so long as it remained silent.

He welcomed the silence.

He embraced it.

The only sound that could be heard was from the old grandfather clock that belonged to...

Minato squashed that thought before it could truly even finish.

_Tik. _

_Tik._

_Tik._

_Tik. _

Seconds turned to minutes.

And minutes turned to hours.

Minato continued to remain motionless in his bed.

His once vibrant eyes now carried a dull tone to them as he continued to stare at the ceiling of his room in silence.

_Tik._

_Tik._

_Tik._

_Tik._

Three days...

It had been three days since that fateful night. Three days since Minato had gotten more than two hours of sleep. Three days since he had truly eaten.

His bed was his solace.

It was a safe haven... Even if it _did_ remind him of Kushina.

Dull orbs slowly traveled to the right side of the king-sized bed where someone was _supposed_ to be. In the spot though, there was nothing.

No stray streaks of crimson covering him and the entire front half of the bed.

No armada of hoarded pillows that either did or didn't belong to him.

No shortage of blankets and coverings.

There was space for him on his side of the bed, an unusual amount of it.

...

No violent woman there to greet him.

No _"Good morning you flakey bastard." _

There was... Nothing.

Minato closed his eyes as images of Kushina popped into his mind. The way her beautiful hair swayed to and fro...

Her beautiful amethyst orbs...

Her _violent_ temper and stand-offish personality...

He... missed her...

So, _so_ much...

A single pitiful sob escaped Minato as his face scrunched up. Tears threatened to spill out from his clenched eyes but he willed them away.

_Kushina's beautiful face appeared in his mind once more._ _Her eyes were shut as she dawned her infamous grin. Her cheeks scrunching up and her teeth on full display._

The blond haired man clenched the soft fabric of his blanket tightly as another pitiful sound tore through his throat, though he still refused to break.

_An obnoxious and loud laugh emitted from Kushina as she doubled over. Her crimson tresses swayed in the wind as her laughter grew in volume. _

Minato would not break.

Not again...

_"I love you Minato-kun." _

And break he did.

* * *

"Tsunade-sama..." A young, feminine voice spoke quietly.

"I'm aware, Shizune." The blond haired Senju replied to her companion.

Tsunade glanced down at the half finished sake bottle that sat at their shared booth and slowly reached for it. Upon picking the glass bottle up, she began to slowly spin it while staring into the glass, searching for the individual that was currently stalking them.

It took several seconds longer than she would have liked but Tsunade was eventually successful in her endeavor.

And what or better yet _who_, she saw in the reflection of the bottle made her blood run cold.

Tsunade's honey brown eyes dilated, if only slightly, as she took in the form of one of the most _notorious_ Shinobi to ever grace the Elemental Nations.

A Shinobi who would go down in history as one of the most prolific killers the Elemental Nations has ever seen.

An army killer... One that had ended an entire war by himself.

The threat that he posed to the entire Elemental Nations was so profound that he was the only individual to have a "Flee on sight" order.

Minato Namikaze.

The 4th Hokage of Konoha.

Known by his famous or rather infamous nickname, The Yellow Flash.

"Tsunade-sama, are you ok?"

The busty woman was snapped out of her trance by Shizune's question. Her eyes traveled back towards the sake bottle in her hand and noticed that Minato was no longer in the reflection.

Adrenaline surged through Tsunade's body as she dropped the glass bottle while whipping her head towards the space Minato had previously occupied.

Silence.

Silence?

But she had dropped the glass bottle...

It should... have...

"Careful there, Tsunade-sama. You almost dropped your Sake."

Tsunade's heart stopped for a single second as the voice of Jiraiya's only student entered her ear. Her eyes slowly trailed towards Minato who dawned a small smile on his handsome face.

Upon further inspection, there seemed to be something... _off_ about him but she couldn't pin it.

Or perhaps it was the fear that was currently nestling in her breast at the sight of this _monster_ that was throwing off her equilibrium.

There would only be, logically_,_ two reasons as to why the Fourth Hokage himself would be here looking for her.

A: To kill her.

B: To take her back to Konoha.

If she was being honest... Both were awful but one of them atleast had her staying alive... This was still a lose/lose situation and she knew it.

Minato's attention shifted to the younger woman who sat at the booth and offered her a small smile. "Hello Shizune." He placed the bottle of alcohol back on the table before continuing. "I'd like to speak with your Aunt. Do you mind giving us some... privacy?"

The 16 year old youth could do nothing but openly stare at the man who was feared by all Nations due to his actions in the Third Shinobi War.

Licking her lips nervously, Shizune glanced towards Tsunade before speaking in a subdued tone. "I... I uh..."

She was prevented from continuing as the blond army killer placed his right hand on her shoulder, deliberately staring into the eyes of Tsunade as he did so.

"Go on now, little one." Minato did not relinquish his gaze on Tsunade as he spoke. "Five minutes is all I need, okay?"

Shizune swallowed the bile that wanted to spew out of her throat before slowly standing to her feet. She nodded her head silently before bowing low to her Uncle's lover and the 4th Hokage.

Minato offered the girl a gentle smile, one that was not returned as Shizune practically fled from the restaurant. He watched her the entire time before eventually returning his gaze to Tsunade once she was out of sight.

The gentle smile that was previously adorned on Minato's immediately disappeared. The Yondaime's visage was like stone as his sapphire orbs pierced directly through Tsunade.

And he stared.

And stared..

And stared...

"How are you Tsunade?" Minato questioned quietly, still retaining that terrifyingly blank expression on his face. He slid into the booth smoothly, continuing to speak. "Enjoying your extended vacation?"

Her hands... They were shaking.

The busty woman glanced at her hand for a brief moment before returning her gaze to the man in front of her.

The _second_ her gaze strayed to her hand was all the time he needed.

"Why did you look away?" Minato questioned quietly, his index finger now resting on the seal that sat on Tsunade's forehead. "When a threat faces you, you do not _blink_."

Tsunade released a shaky breath as she met Minato's gaze. She inhaled deeply through her nose before forcing herself to calm down. He already had Shizune's life in his hands...

A simple _touch_ was all he needed.

And now he was touching _her_.

Getting her heart beat under control, Tsunade spoke in a quiet tone. "Where is she?"

There was silence for several moments before Minato eventually responded. "Making her way to the hotel... To gather your belongings I'm sure."

He did not relinquish his finger from her forehead.

Had Minato been _literally_ anyone else then she would stomped their body into the earth while shattering every bone in their body.

But this wasn't just _anyone_... Her pride needed to be squashed. Minato carried the entire deck of cards in his hand... And he certainly knew it.

"If you were here to kill me, then I'd already be dead." She responded quietly. "And you are certainly not giving me a choice in the matter."

The blond Kage tilted his head for a moment before replying. "You should have never _left_ to begin with and Hiruzen should have never condoned it. His leniency towards you three never ceases to astound me."

Tsunade wanted to snarl at his reply but she stomped that knee jerk reaction in its entirety.

"I came back to Konoha during the Third War and aided my home." Her eyes turned sharp as she bit out her next response. "I sure as fuck didn't _start_ it."

Tsunade didn't even _see_ Minato move. His fist just seemed to... _appear_ _through_ the mahogany table they were seated at.

The restaurant table exploded in a rather beautiful display of destruction as hundreds of sharp and jagged pieces of wood spread throughout the establishment. The entire restaurant grew eerily silent as every single individual turned towards the duo's position.

Minato ignored every single look he was recieving as his _angry_ blue eyes bore directly into Tsunade's honey brown ones.

"You don't get to stop being a Shinobi because of tragedy!" He practically screamed into her face. "You don't get to _stop_ protecting your home because you lost a loved one!"

The blond man stood up from his seated position before getting directly into Tsunade's face, their noses brushing against one another.

He spoke in a tone that only she could hear.

"Konoha just lost 8,000 of its citizens and Shinobi _combined_ during a span of only two hours. I had to sit by and watch as my _wife_ sacrificed her very _life_ to protect her village." Minato's tone grew darker as he questioned her. "You think your suffering is greater than mine?"

Tsunade's visage contorted angrily as her eyes lit with fury. She stood to her feet, forcing Minato half a step back but not enough for him to pull his face away from hers. "My entire bloodline was essentially _hunted_ down to the very last child because of a petty dick measuring contest around money!"

Tsunade's forehead clashed against Minato's harshly, cracking against his skull and causing a small amount of blood to run down both of their faces.

"I didn't leave Konoha because Dan and Nawaki fucking died! I left Konoha because I'm fucking TIRED!" Tsunade's fists clenched tightly as her eyes began to water. "Tired of seeing everyone I love _suffer_ and throw themselves into a pit of despair and depression because they're unable to cope with their past traumas... Tired of seeing the hopes and dreams of _twelve year old_ _children_ being squashed while being forced to endure a life of hardship... I'm... fucking... tired... Minato."

The woman's rage filled eyes began to slowly dissipate as tears streamed down her face. "I don't_ want_ to endure anymore... I don't _want_ to fight any longer..." Defeated and exhausted brown eyes stared into an ocean of blue. "All I've ever wanted was to _help_... To _heal_... And look where it got me."

The blonde woman released a bitter laugh as she unclenched her fists while throwing them up in a defeated manner. "I'm a bitter drunk who's incapable of facing her own grievances while blaming others for my problems... But my suffering isn't valid, right?" She questioned rhetorically.

The previous ire and anger that flowed within Minato seemed to just dissipate as he stared at the last remaining Senju in the world.

The man's blue eyes gazed into the woman's defeated brown ones and he felt a genuine tug at his chest.

Minato closed his eyes with a soft sigh before bowing his head, jostling his spikey locks of hair. He was silent for several long seconds as he contemplated his next words.

He wasn't thinking straight... Of course Tsunade hadn't left because of a single event. Dozens of events had led up to her eventual departure and while he didn't _agree_ with how she chose to handle it, that didn't invalidate her pain.

He was allowing his emotions to dictate his actions. Anger and grief circulated through his heart due to the loss of his wife. The added stress of having to provide aid for the entire village while looking after his newborn son was clearly weighing down on him heavily.

The blond Kage raised his right hand towards his face before wiping off the blood from the wound Tsunade had caused. Shaking his hand free of the copper substance, Minato opened his eyes before speaking in a more calm and rational tone than previously.

"It was not my intention to invalidate the pain you have endured in your life." Straying his gaze away from the woman's slightly surprised expression, Minato continued. "I have yet to properly mourn for Kushina..."

Before Tsunade could reply to the man's statement, his hand came to rest on her shoulder. Her vertigo flipped upside down for a mere second as her feet made purchase on solid ground. She wobbled but for a moment before blinking and gazing around at the area Minato had teleported them to.

Tsunade's eyebrows furrowed as she stared at the Capitol of Fire Country from one of the many mountain ranges surrounding it. She could see every single home, establishment, and general building from the vantage point she shared with Minato.

After admiring the view for several seconds, her attention was drawn to the blond man as he began to walk towards the edge of the mountain with his hands in his pockets. His stride was slow and measured and upon reaching the edge, he stopped and just stared.

A gentle breeze swept through the area, jostling Tsunade's braided hair and ruffling Minato's haori cloak. Minato's earlier words replayed in the woman's head as she stared at the kanji on his white haori cloak.

_"I had to sit by and watch as my wife sacrificed her very life to protect her village."_

_"I have yet to properly mourn for Kushina."_

The busty woman's gaze strayed towards the soil as images of Dan appeared in her head.

His gentle smile... Loving gaze...

Tsunade released a sad sigh as her eyes closed. She knew exactly what Minato was going through and while she didn't truly _know_ Minato, she _did_ know how losing a significant other affected an individuals psyche.

Minato had stated that he hadn't even began to properly mourn her death... He likely hadn't _accepted_ she was gone yet, possibly still clinging on to the hope of this all just being a terrible nightmare.

But... It wasn't. And the longer it took for him to accept this, the more it was going to hurt.

"What happened?" She questioned quietly, trying to get her emotions settled. She watched his shoulders square up for a moment before eventually drooping downward, displaying an almost defeated stance.

"What _didn't_ happen would be far easier to answer..." Minato replied tiredly. He resisted the urge to rub his eyes as he answered the Slug Sannin. "The Kyuubi was released from Kushina due to the intervention of an unknown attacker." Before Tsunade could even question _how_ that was even possible, he answered. "This man had the ability to teleport and become intangible at will. Though, the speed at which he could do so was limited."

The Yondaime sighed quietly as he shook his head. "What followed was destruction and chaos. The Kyuubi ran amok in the village while I was forced to fight the unknown attacker. I managed to force the man to retreat and in this brief period of time I was able to aid Kushina while teleporting the Kyuubi away from Konoha."

"I eventually killed the man while Kushina was dealing with the Kyuubi. Afterwards..." He trailed off quietly as his eyes closed. Biting back the emotion that wished to surface, Minato continued. "We had to reseal the Bijuu... Kushina sacrificed her life using the Shiki Fujin, splitting the Kyuubi's Chakra in half and sealing one half of it into... our son."

The blond Senju blinked a single time before shaking her head. "Your... son? Wait... Since when did-"

Before she could finish asking her question, Minato answered her. "That was how the Kyuubi was released. Somehow, the man that attacked us knew where and when Kushina would be giving birth despite only three individuals in the entire village knowing how I would proceed with Kushina's pregnancy... And those three individuals died that night."

Tsunade could practically feel the man's frustration. It was understandable... Minato was incredibly perceptive and planned things step by step with several contingencies should his plans go awry. She had seen this with her own eyes during the Third War.

He'd certainly never get his answer either if everyone involved in the Kyuubi's rampage was dead. It must be like an itch that couldn't be properly scratched.

"And Jiraiya and Orochimaru?" She questioned as she approached his position.

"Jiraiya is conducting counterintelligence. I don't want this event reaching the ears of the other Kages." Minato tilted his head as his eyes narrowed slightly. "We've just come off a World War and I'd rather _not_ be in another one so soon..."

The busty woman glanced at Minato out the corner of her eye as she contemplated that statement.

What a terrifying man... Speaking so casually about going to war. There wasn't an ounce of doubt or fear or trepidation in his tone.

Minato would absolutely stand on the front lines and anyone brave, or dumb enough, to stand in his way deserved the gate he gave them.

While she hadn't personally bore witness to the destruction and chaos that Minato reigned down upon Iwagakure at Kannabi Bridge, she had the stories from the several dozen Konoha Shinobi that Minato fought along side. And each story was the same.

They saw nothing but _red_ and _yellow_.

"Orochimaru on the other hand..." The man seemed almost hesitant to speak about her former teammate and after several seconds of silence, he finally spoke. "What you hear stays between us..." His head tilted towards her as his blue eyes stared into her very soul. "I don't need to warn you about what will happen should this knowledge become public, yes?"

No... No he did _not_ need to warn her. She understood completely. And so, she nodded her head with furrowed brows and waited for what was no doubt something heinous that Orochimaru had conducted in one fashion or another.

Minato nodded his head before turning his gaze away and staring at the Fire Capital once more. "Orochimaru is a... _unique_ case." He started off slowly. "Considering how close you all three used to be I'm sure that you are aware of his more twisted and sadistic side."

Tsunade nodded once but did not speak, well aware of Orochimaru's more darker tendencies.

"You are unaware of this but after your departure from the village, Hiruzen had Orochimaru put in the ANBU, namely Root, under Danzo's command." Minato paused for a moment before shifting his feet. "I shouldn't have to explain myself in regards to Danzo and his ploys."

Tsunade rose a single eyebrow as she replied with an annoyed scoff. "I'm surprised that old fuck is still alive around you. He jeopardizes Konoha."

The Yondaime nodded his head before replying. "While it would certainly be easier to out right kill him and be done with it, he has his uses." At Tsunade's disbelieving scoff he replied with a small smirk. "He is a scapegoat... He just does not see it yet."

The blond man shook his head and continued speaking. "But never mind that nuisance, we are getting off track. I have been around Orochimaru for enough time to come to an understanding about him and have formulated ways of dealing with his more darker aspects."

"Like...?" She questioned rather unsurely. Orochimaru was unstable... She didn't really see a way to change that.

"Orochimaru is intelligent. He knows that in open combat he could not deal with me... In _my _opinion, he would not be able to deal with me no matter the circumstance but I digress." Shaking his head, Minato continued. "Orochimaru seeks purpose in life... His dream of 'finding life's mysteries' is clearly illogical. A man of his intellect knows this."

Minato pulled out his unique kunai before presenting it to Tsunade. "The best mysteries are the ones that you cannot _solve_." He flipped the weapon before grabbing it by the blade and showing the Kanji that was inscribed into it.

"Unlike Tobirama's creation, you cannot replicate _my_ Hiraishin."

Tsunade's eyes were fixated on the weapon and its seals for several minutes as she contemplated the words Minato was saying.

_Unlike her great Uncle's creation... It could not be replicated?_

Tsunade began to chew on one her fingers as she continued to stare at the weapon.

How was that possible?

Minato's Hiraishin worked off the same formula that Uncle Tobirama's Hiraishingiri did... Right?

"No. It does not." Minato answered her unasked question as he flipped the weapon once more. "I took Tobirama's creation and made my own... _formula_, you could call it. The interesting thing though is that without the understanding of Tobirama's initial creation, then my Hiraishin is useless." Minato inspected his unique seal with a tilted head before twirling the kunai several times. "Interesting, no?"

Tsunade's face scrunched up in confusion for several seconds before she spoke. "I'm not a _master_ of Fuinjutsu but I know a thing or two." She gestured to the seal on her forehead for a moment before continuing. "How would that even be possible?"

The blond man chuckled quietly before pocketing the weapon and replying. "Fuinjutsu is limited only by the _mind_. If I wish for my formula to be incapable of being replicated, then I can do so. I travel through a pocket dimension when using the Hiraishin... This is child's play."

Tsunade didn't believe that for one second... How?! That didn't even make sense!

"Stop bullshitting me!" Her eye twitched as the man turned towards her with a slightly perplexed expression. "You're just fucking with me..."

Minato blinked a single time before shaking his head. "Your seal allows you 100% access to Chakra that has been stored up for years without regulated use... On top of having little to no harmful effects, unless you push past your stored limit of course. Is it really so unbelievable to have a formula that's incapable of being copied?"

Tsunade wanted to pull on her braids! That... That just didn't make sense! She didn't care if he was providing a rather decent point!

It was _bullshit_ and he knew it!

"The disbelief circulating through you is slightly surprising." Minato spoke offhandedly. "If you are incapable of innovation in the Shinobi world then you stagnate. And when you stagnate, you _die_. You know this more than anyone, Tsunade."

The man turned his head towards her before staring into her eyes. "You paved the way for all things medical related in the Shinobi world. The ability to _heal_ using Chakra is still a foreign concept considering Chakra has only been used as a weapon."

Tsunade was silent as the man praised her craft. It was... kind of uncomfortable, if she was being honest. Even Hiruzen, her own Sensei, had been disbelieving in her initial ideas regarding the practice or Iryo-Ninjutsu.

While yes, he eventually _did_ see how useful the art was, it was still insulting and demeaning.

"So... Changing the subject." She spoke quietly. "How does this relate to Orochimaru? You're telling me you're just going to _give_ him the formula to your Hiraishin?"

There was absolutely no way that Minato was that stupid.

"That is precisely what I'm going to do."

THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT MINATO WAS THAT STUPID!

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched several times at his rather confident tone before she closed her eyes while rubbing the bridge of her nose.

_Stay... Calm... _

"_Minato Namikaze_..." Tsunade began slowly, speaking in a quiet tone. "Are you out of your damn mind?"

The 4th Hokage shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly before replying calmly. "If we're being honest then possibly..." He answered rather truthfully. "But I am absolutely confident that this will solve Orochimaru's existential crisis."

"And if it doesn't?" She questioned back sharply. "That technique ended an _entire_ war in a matter of _seconds_... Hundreds of men and women perished _in an instant_ due to _that_ damn ability! Why the fuck are you being so nonchalant about this?!"

A small smile formed on Minato's face, one that had his eyes close. A serene expression painting his visage and a response that caused an uncomfortable feeling to form in her chest.

Why did he look so much like... Dan?

"Just believe in me."

* * *

Minato and Tsunade appeared directly behind a frazzled Shizune who was placing items into a rather large scroll, mumbling to herself as she did so.

"... We're dead... So, so dead! Tsunade-sama is going to anger him and we'll cease to exist..." An exaggerated gasp left her as she stood completely still. "I'll die a virgin! Oh Kami! This is truly the _worst_ timeline!"

An amused smile morphed onto Minato's face as he glanced towards a _very _annoyed Tsunade, evident by her aggressive eyebrow twitching.

Before Tsunade could enact the violence that so desperately wished to surface, Minato coughed quietly attracting the ebony haired teen's attention.

Shizune released a short yelp of surprise before spinning on her heel and launching several dozen senbon towards the source. As soon as the weapons were released from her hand did Shizune realize who had snuck up on her.

_NOOOOO! _

The Yondaime Hokage tilted his head before catching each senbon in between his fingers. The blond man glanced towards the weapons before shifting his attention to the now trembling teen in front of him.

A gentle smile formed on Minato's face as he spoke, calming the girl slightly. "Reflexes are good though you should be more aware of your surroundings."

Shizune grimaced at both the man's tone and Tsunade's aggravated visage. She swallowed her saliva before bowing low and speaking. "Forgive me, Tsunade-sama!"

The blond woman stared at her adoptive daughter for several seconds before sighing quietly. Her aggravated visage melted away as a soft look formed in her eyes.

Walking towards the teen, Tsunade pulled the girl into a hug before rubbing her back. "Calm down, Shizune. It's fine."

Just to be petty though, she did hold the girl's face directly into her bust. If she wasn't going to be violent and use her fists then she was absolutely going to suffocate the girl.

Only a bit though... She still did love Shizune afterall.

The ebony haired girl thrashed several times in the woman's hold before eventually garnering enough strength to pull her face out of the woman's impressive bust.

The teen gulped in a large amount of oxygen before huffing. "Let! Me! Goooooooo!"

The girl's pleading was ignored though as the older woman just continued to mush the girl closer to her chest, depriving her of oxygen and torturing her in a way that any man in the Elemental Nations would love to experience.

Minato just stared at the scene awkwardly as he didn't truly know what to do...

Women... are strange.

You'd think after almost an entire decade of being with Kushina that he'd grow used to situations like this but... No. He hadn't.

It was still incredibly awkward.

* * *

The three Shinobi appeared directly atop the Hokage Monument with the two females wobbling slightly from the discomfort of traveling via Hiraishin. After they got their bearings, their eyes widened exponentially upon seeing the ruined village.

While most of the debris had been moved out of the more heavily populated areas there was still signs that devastation and destruction had wreaked havoc upon the Major Village.

Giant, empty craters surrounded the outer gates of the village with hundreds of empty plots nearing the epicenter of the village.

"The Shinobi force have been working non-stop to clear all the left over debris from the Kyuubi's rampage." Minato spoke aloud from his position. He placed his hands into his pockets as his haori cloak swayed in the wind. "It has been an incredibly grueling time. We_ need_ medical aid Tsunade..."

A soft sigh escaped the man as he shook his head. "We lack an abundance of Medic Nin... While I respect Hiruzen as both a teacher and a former Hokage, he was incredibly foolish to not instill your proposal during the Second Shinobi War. He certainly made up for it during the Third War but it wasn't a permanent fixture in our teachings. I have done what I can but..." Turning towards the woman so she could his face, he continued.

"I _need_ you, Tsunade. _Konoha_ needs you. Please..." He closed his eyes before bowing his head slightly, showing an unexpected amount of respect towards the woman.

Again, that uncomfortable feeling formed in Tsunade's chest as she stared at Minato, listening to him speak so earnestly regarding her.

She didn't deserve it... Why was he showing such respect?

He had every right to force her back to Konoha and demand she aid its people... No, _her _people. But...

Looking anywhere but Minato, Tsunade responded with just a hint of awkwardness. "I... I will need supplies and a workplace..." Swallowing the saliva that had built in her mouth, she continued. "Reports, practice, procedures... I need everything."

The blond man raised his head with a small smile as he spoke. "Anything that you require, I will get for you. You need not worry."

Before the man could continue, a doppelganger of the man appeared directly beside him. Minato did not seem surprised in the slightest.

"Fugaku and Orochimaru are awaiting your presence." The Shadow Clone glanced towards the women for a moment before returning to its master. "You were cutting it close."

Minato just ignored the off-hand comment from his clone before speaking to both women. "Would you like to join me, Tsunade? Perhaps seeing a few familiar faces will put you at ease."

The busty Senju contemplated the man's offer for several moments before ultimately sighing and shaking her head. "I appreciate the offer Minato but I'd like to get straight to work... Like you said, Konoha needs me."

The 4th Hokage nodded his head before gesturing to his clone and replying. "I will have my Shadow Clone accompany you. Good luck Tsunade." He made to leave before halting and speaking one last time.

"Thank you... Tsunade."

And then he disappeared.

* * *

Minato's feet touched down upon the carpeted floors of his office. His eyes settled on the two men his clone had called on before slowly walking towards his seat and sitting down.

The Snake Sannin and Clan Head of the Uchiha Clan remained silent as Minato began to rummage through one of his drawers. The man proceeded to pull out a rather thick Manila folder before tapping it once and spinning it towards Fugaku.

"This folder might be of interest to you, Fugaku." The blond Kage tapped it once more before picking it up and handing it directly to Fugaku. "Do not open it until you are home. You are dismissed, Fugaku."

The Uchiha Clan Head rose a single eyebrow before bowing his head and making his way out of the office to read the contents of the folder.

It was a little surprising that Minato would request him to come in person just to hand him a folder. Which meant the content inside the folder was for his eyes only and no one else's.

The door to Minato's office closed with a quiet click as both Shinobi proceeded to stare into each other's eyes. The silence went on for several minutes before Orochimaru's inevitable curiosity got the better of him.

"What is it that you need from me, Minato-sama?" His yellow slitted eyes bore into Minato's sapphire orbs.

Minato slowly leaned towards his desk, propping his elbows on the aged mahogany wood and interlacing his fingers together. His hands covered the bottom portion of his face and his entire demeanor shifted, pinching at Orochimaru's sixth sense for danger.

"I know what you have been doing, Orochimaru."

It was a simple sentence.

A simple sentence that carried _weight_.

A kind of weight that Orochimaru did not wish to endure.

Before Orochimaru could speak Minato did so. "Hiruzen was far too lenient... Either that or he enabled you instead of aiding you." Minato closed his eyes as he continued. "Danzo's ploys from the shadows are beginning to become too radical for my liking."

Orochimaru shifted his weight with a narrowed gaze but did not speak, listening to exactly what Minato was saying.

If Minato wanted him dead... Then he'd already be dead.

You cannot stop someone like Minato.

"He is only around because Root has its uses and I'd be a hypocrite to judge the actions of a man who does what he believes is best for his Village." Minato paused for a moment as one of his fingers tapped against his nose. "But I draw the line at human experimentation. It _stops_ today... Or I will end you both." Minato's eyes opened as twin glaciers bore into Orochimaru's very soul.

"Do I make myself clear?"

Orochimaru's pulse sped up in response to the danger wafting off of Minato. Stomping the urge to move, Orochimaru replied with a narrowed smile.

"Kukuku~! Of course, Hokage-sama." The serpentine man tilted his head before meeting Minato's harsh stare. "Though, if I may?"

When Minato said nothing Orochimaru proceeded with his question.

"How did you know?"

The Yondaime Hokage closed his eyes before replying. "Nothing in this village escapes me. I know what is happening at all times. Every day, every hour, every _minute_..."

Well, that wasn't fair. He hadn't _actually_ explained how he knew.

Orochimaru believed that was rude.

"Every high priority target in Konoha is marked by me." Minato explained simply.

Orochimaru's snake-like smile returned full force as he chuckled quietly. "Kukuku... I'm glad you think so _highly_ of me, Minato-sama."

Minato ignored the statement before unclasping his hands and replying. "As of today, you will be removed from ANBU, effective immediately. Any lingering _projects_ will be terminated at once and should I catch wind of any more _experiments_..." He let the statement drop entirely, knowing that Orochimaru would understand it.

Seeing the understanding gaze, Minato leaned back in his chair. "I'm appointing you to the Head of the Research and Development Department of Konoha. You will take orders directly from me and any projects you wish to work on will be approved by myself."

Spotting the intrigued twinkle in Orochimaru's serpentine eyes, Minato went in for the kill. He reached into his cloak before pulling out one of his Hiraishin Kunais and tossing the weapon to the Snake Sannin.

Upon catching the weapon, Minato spoke in a simple tone.

"Solve it."

The expression plastered on Orochimaru's face would forever be cemented in Minato's mind. The sheer confusion on the man's face was actually incredibly refreshing.

A small smirk formed on the Yondaime's face as he gestured lazily. "You heard correctly. I wish for you to solve the Hiraishin. If you manage to do so, then you can have it." The blond man had to bite back the laugh that wished to escape him at Orochimaru's baffled expression.

After several seconds of staring at Minato the Snake Sannin spoke quietly. "Who are you and what have you done with Minato?"

That comment though did make Minato laugh. After a brief bout of laughter, the blond man spoke. "I can assure you that this is no joke. I wish to direct your attention to matters that would aid the village instead of your own self-imposed ambitions. You seek some form of validation and what better way than creating new and innovative concepts for the Shinobi world." Minato gestured towards the weapon before finishing. "Solving the Hiraishin is one of those Jutsus that only a handful of individuals can grasp... Do you believe you can do so?"

The pale skinned man stared into Minato's eyes for several seconds before directing his attention to the seal engraved on the kunai. He stared at the seal for several seconds before returning his gaze to Minato.

A smile tugged at the man's features as he spoke. "You are a dangerous man, Minato Namikaze."

The blond man shrugged his shoulders before replying. "Being respected is a skill but being feared is a talent. I like to believe that I have mastered both."

After his statement, Minato gestured with his hand. "You are free to go Orochimaru. Remember what I said... I'm not Hiruzen."

That serpentine smile manifested in the pale man's face as he pocketed the kunai. "Of course, Hokage-sama." Bowing his head, Orochimaru made to leave the office. Before he could exit through the door though, Minato spoke up.

"Before you go, answer me this question." When Orochimaru turned around with a curious expression, Minato continued to speak. "How strong was Hanzo the Salamander?"

Orochimaru's head tilted as his eyebrows furrowed.

What a... _peculiar_ question...

The pale skinned man pondered his answer for a scant few seconds before answering. "His only equal would have been Hiruzen..." Orochimaru noticed how Minato's eyes sharpened at the answer, but the man did not speak.

Another mystery... Minato was filled with them, hmm?

"You are free to go."

Orochimaru nodded his head before exiting through the door, leaving Minato to his thoughts.

After Orochimaru's exit, Minato began to drum his fingers against his desk. The rhythmic tapping continued for several hours as Minato remained seated in his chair, pondering the answer Orochimaru had given him.

This was... a _problem_.

Jiraiya had provided intelligence about Hanzo's supposed passing in Amegakure. It had been nothing but rumors and conspiracy theories but Jiraiya believed differently.

Amegakure was a dead zone.

Nothing got in or out. If information such as _this_ was seeping out then it was something that was certainly worth investigating.

After the fifth hour of thinking over it, Minato made his decision. He ran through several handseals before placing his right palm on his desk and summoning Fukasaku.

The elder toad appeared on the table in a plume of spoke with a curious expression. "Do you need something, Minato-boy?"

"Send a message to Jiraiya... I'm going to Amegakure to investigate a lead he had." Minato replied with an intense gaze.

The old toad's demeanor shifted immediately as it stared into Minato's eyes. "I would advise against this, Minato." He warned seriously.

The blond Kage shook his head before slowly standing to his feet and turning towards his office window.

"A threat that can so casually deal with Hanzo the Salamander is something that needs to be addressed immediately. I'm the only individual that can get _in_ and get_ out_ with relative ease."

The old Toad shook his head as he replied. "I cannot, within good conscience, allow you to do something so illogical. You need to _think_, Minato." Fukasaku banged his cane on the desk before glaring at Minato. "You have yet to even mourn Kushina and now you wish to face some unknown threat capable of defeating one of the strongest Shinobi to exist?! You need to_stop_ and _think_, Minato-boy. You have a _son _to think about now... You cannot continue to do the-."

The elder toad was cut off from speaking as Minato dispelled him back to Mount Myoboku.

Silence reigned in the office for several minutes as Minato bowed his head with his eyes closed. He rose one of his hands to his face before wiping away the tears of frustration that formed in his eyes.

Fukasaku was absolutely in the right about what he was saying.

He _did_ have a son that he needed to think about.

He _hadn't_ mourned Kushina.

And he _wasn't _thinking logically.

But...

Before those thoughts could continue, the sound of the office door opened followed by the sounds of a baby crying.

The ear piercing noise penetrated Minato's hearing as he turned towards the source. He spotted his only remaining student who seemed to be _clearly_ struggling with his newborn son.

The young teen had an apologetic expression on his masked face as he stared at his Sensei. "Sensei... He's been crying _all_ day... I don't know what to do... I'm sorry for just barging in but I need help."

The blond Kage stared at Kakashi for a moment before directing his gaze to Naruto. His eyes began to slowly soften as he strode towards his student and son.

"Have you fed him?" Minato asked as he took his son out of the arms of Kakashi and began to gently rock him.

"Three times! And I changed him as well! I don't know what he wants." Kakashi exclaimed in a minor bout of childish frustration. It was completely out of character for someone as reserved and sheltered as Kakashi.

Minato just chuckled quietly as he gently rocked his son, shushing and cooing into the child's ears as he did so. After several minutes did the child finally begin to settle down. The blond man stopped his actions upon noticing that Naruto had drifted off to sleep.

Kakashi huffed in slight exasperation before whispering in an annoyed tone. _"How did you even do that?!"_

The blond man just blinked at the question before tilting his head with furrowed eyebrows. He stared at his sleeping son for several long seconds before turning towards Kakashi and speaking in a confused tone.

"Uhh... I honestly have no idea."

**AN: End. Idiots.**

**So****, originally I was going to have Minato travel to Amegakure and meet Nagato, speaking face to face but I decided against it and will do so in the next chapter.**

**ANYWAY****! Do that Review thing, ya mongrels! See ya in the next update. **


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